Life Dynamics Coaching Monthly Musings Newsletter

NOVEMBER & DECEMBER MONTHLY MUSINGS

To muse:
To wonder and marvel; to become absorbed in mindful meditation provoking thoughtful inspiration to unlock doors, walk through them with ease, experience the world of possibilities, and create positive life changes.

CELEBRATE: To take pleasure in, honor and enjoy the change of seasons, the holiday rituals, and making memories with those you love.

"Deck the Halls, Not Your Relatives" by Coach Deborah

Autumn season

While walking down the charming streets of downtown Northfield, an acquaintance stopped to chat with me about the upcoming holiday season. Already frazzled and frustrated (and it's only the end of October), this lovely individual painted a picture of such decadent proportions and had her expectations set so high that it's no wonder she had herself worked up into a frenzy. Deliberately keeping holiday activities and rituals simple and relaxed is the best way to go.

Each of us has our own unique way to celebrate the holidays. Some of us stay home and some of us travel. Some of us give gifts and some of us participate in fun activities together such as attending a play. Some of us host dinners in our homes and some of us are the invited guests. Some of us don't celebrate Christmas until January. And, some of us get along with our relatives and some of us, well, not so much. The one thing I learned years ago regarding the holiday season is that sometimes expectations get set so high that we actually set ourselves up for disappointment. Anticipation and excitement fly through the air at warp speed and the spirit of giving arrives in many forms. This is all well and good if we keep everything in perspective and make the choice to take time to RELAX during this busy time of year, maintain reasonable expectations, bend a little, and deck the halls, not our relatives.

Holiday activity.

Here's what I know for sure. At our house, we don't go into a frantic frenzy. A number of years ago, we made the choice to celebrate Christmas Eve as a family in our own home. It's wonderful! Yes, the four of us attend church, have a fondue supper, read the Christmas story, eat Christmas cookies, have hot chocolate, and then we open presents. We all sing Christmas songs as our daughters play piano and flute, and we all "play" with the new gifts and get the board games out for some cheerful Christmas competition. We have no major commitments and we just allow ourselves to relax and enjoy our time having fun together. Sometimes, we even go sledding on the hill near our home. On Christmas day, we join the rest of our family for fun, food, and festivities. Unlike many people we know, most of our extended family live in Minnesota, so we don't have far to travel. The point is, we really do Christmas in our own low key way and have given our friends and family room to adjust. And, of course, we've had our "Christmases past" where the "extremes" that sometimes come with life, happened. Boy, did they happen!

Life does happen and sometimes it's far from Norman Rockwell perfect. We will never forget the year that we all had the flu and celebrated Christmas Eve on another day or eight years ago when my Father died about a month before Christmas. Twenty-six years ago, when I was seventeen (you do the math), my parents' home burned down the day after Christmas. That's pretty unforgettable. All our presents were torched. Talk about a reality check. I learned from that day forward what's really important in life - people and relationships. My father was in the basement where the fire started and my mom, brother, grandmother, and I stood outside the house watching the flames in horror. The sirens screamed loudly as the fire trucks cruised down our street. We knew we couldn't go in and save my father. Suddenly, he miraculously ran out the basement door. There were no burns on his body, just some black smoke on his face. Quite frankly, I don't remember many of the gifts I've received during holidays past, but I remember the best Christmas gift I have ever received was watching my father coming out of our burning house frightened, but alive. That was and is the best Christmas present I've ever received.

Celebrate life.

Make the choice to have some self-awareness this holiday season. Don't set your expectations too high. Take time for relaxation. Try to be flexible with your holiday plans, and remember the holidays are only a moment in time. Do the best you can with relatives. Some of you have great relationships with relatives and some of you don't. There's no good, bad, or otherwise, here. Relationships can be very dynamic and complex. Remember, don't allow yourself to be "beat up" by relatives. I'm not kidding. All of us have different toleration levels. No one deserves to be treated badly and it creates unnecessary stress which defeats the purpose of celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas in the first place. Surround yourself with those you love and those who love you just the way you are. Whatever you do, find your own joy, celebrate this holiday season to the fullest, and make the choice to deck the halls, not your relatives.

Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas to each and every one of you. Thanks to all of you who have surrounded me with goodness this year. We've all been put on this earth for a reason. I encourage you to continue to discover and act on your life purpose as we ring in the new year. May God's peace and joy be with you during the holidays and always.
Happy Holidays.

Here's the deal...

Need some holiday survival help? Go to www.time2organize.net for some great holiday tips that will guide you to an organized, meaningful, and stress-free holiday season.

By the way...

Here are two holiday sanity savers.

It's okay to say "no." Whether it's company parties, family get-togethers, cookie bakes, etc. - they'll zap your energy quickly. Give yourself a reality check on your priorities. Are you involved with activities aligned with your values and goals and not by the open slots in your schedule?

Schedule time for yourself to enjoy what energizes and lifts your spirits this holiday season. Book your personal time now!

Holiday survival help.

Try to live in the current moment instead of always worrying about the future. Rejoice in the gifts you have and make the most of today. AND, accept that you and others around you aren't perfect. Celebrate the concept of "good enough."

On a Wing and A Prayer...

"Oh, star of wonder, star of night. Star with royal beauty bright. Westward leading still proceeding, guide us to thy perfect light."

May God's perfect light bring peace into the world. May you find joy in the moment and make each new day a celebration. Happy Holidays!